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Bundred N, Todd C, Morris J, et al. Individualising breast cancer treatment to improve survival and minimise complications in older women: a research programme including the PLACE RCT. Southampton (UK): NIHR Journals Library; 2019 Aug. (Programme Grants for Applied Research, No. 7.5.)

Sometimes older women tell girls to dress more conservatively because they think they are protecting young women from male aggression. But the example given of cultures where women literally hide under clothes with only their eyes peeking out is instructive. Women in those places are not more safe. Older people also misunderstand the cultural signals of the younger generation. Because clothes are signals but the culture changes. Showing a movie about how a prostitute dressed in the mid 80's is not only slut shaming, it's irrelevant now. Some girls do wear revealing clothes because school is boring and demoralizing and they want attention from boys to make it more interesting and boost their ego. But not all girls, probably not even most girls, wear revealing clothes for that reason. And if they do, the schools should start by making the classroom a more compelling and exciting learning environment so the kids change their focus. And teach girls that they can have other avenues of power (through their brains and talents and character and hard work) besides their sexuality. Either way, boys can ignore girls' clothes and bodies if they want to. If they struggle with that, it's a learning opportunity so they won't end up getting sued for harassment when out in the real world. Boys don't get punished for having bodies that people find attractive, so neither should girls get punished for that. Most kids just want to feel comfortable and are not signaling anything to anyone else with their clothing choices except their efforts to belong in the group (through dressing like their friends), or their personal style. Regardless, the signal a pair of leggings or spaghetti straps sends to a fifteen year old kid today is not the same signal that the same clothing item sent thirty years ago. And any adult who thinks a teenaged girl is signaling to him is delusional and dangerous (and disgusting). Schools should never slut shame girls for any reason no matter what. The adults are the ones with the power, creating the atmosphere that allows the boys to claim the girls distracted them rather than owning their boredom or attention problems or learning struggles. No one else can make you feel something or fail something. Schools that encourage boys to blame girls for their problems are teaching aggression against women instead of modeling personal responsibility. When it comes to clothes, I like the adage "dress for the job" and the idea of appropriateness. You don't wear a bathing suit to chem lab nor heels to play soccer. The appropriateness is about the job you're there to do, not the way others perceive you. And the rules have to be equitable for the boys and the girls, always. Boys need to be socialized in schools to respect girls and see them as equals and students, not sex objects. Adults have to change their attitudes and stop adding fuel to the boys' misogynistic fire. And yet we will never stop all boys and men from being dangerous predators. There will always be risks for girls and women, unfortunately. We also have to teach our girls to protect themselves and recognize dangerous people and situations. They have to learn to choose for themselves how they dress and send signals and what risks they are comfortable with. We have to teach them not to be cowed by the sexists to cover up nor pressured by peers to dress in a way that is more revealing than they are comfortable with, just to fit in. Because that happens too - girls just trying to fit in and act more adult-like than they feel. There is so much cultural pressure on girls to sexualize themselves too early now. Girls deserve to be confident no matter how they look, to be allowed to be non-objectified "girls," for much longer, not forced at ever-younger ages into objectified/sexualized "women" before they are ready, or to be free to safely explore their sexuality without judgment if that's what they're ready for. But they decide, no one else. These dress codes are all about justifying the male gaze and forcing girls into an objectified, self-restricting mindset too early. Bottom line is schools need to discipline inappropriate behavior, not police bodies or clothes, especially on girls, that make other people uncomfortable. Girls are told to manage their feelings when boys say nasty things or exclude them from leadership opportunities all the time -instead of boys being taught to change their behavior and stop trying to intimidate people or gang up against girls and minorities or use their privilege unfairly. (The same is true of course about BIPOC being told to manage their feelings when they are denied opportunities or mistreated.) Schools need to teach boys to manage their own uncomfortable feelings, rather than forcing girls to cover up! We'll never get to a better society if schools encourage and reinforce everything that's wrong now. Kudos to any girl or parent of a girl who fights back.

This is all very true and very maddening. I think what ALWAYS happens in discussions about issues that pertain to gender or sexuality, is that the conversation is about women and what they're doing, or not doing, or what they could be doing different. We rarely interrogate the male side of the equation.

To the issues in today's article, yes, it's the adults that are sexualizing these girls, and yes it's the men (and women thinking of things from the male point of view). And it's the men's problem. Covering up or changing clothes is not a solution. In societies that do that, the issue just moves to claiming women are titillating with their ankles or their hands. As long as men are full of testosterone, a sexual component is ALWAYS going to be part of how we view women. And that's OUR problem.

What I think we need to do is reevaluate our approach to men and hormones. Everyone knows women have a menstrual cycle and hormone levels that change and it's part of being a woman and you're expected to manage it, that's part of growing up. If women were doing all sorts of bad things under the influence of their hormones (which not surprisingly men often claim they do!) we wouldn't just give them a free pass and say there's nothing that can be done.

It is endlessly frustrating to see the male part of the gender equation left out of most of these conversations, and I think because women are the ones put at most harm, women are leading and engaging in more of the conversation, and women may not feel qualified or that they're allowed to make sweeping statements about men and our testosterone. Men need to get off the sidelines and take responsibility for our role in all of these issues. It is not going to get better until men admit that it's our hormones and our inability or refusal to regulate our behavior that's the problem.

I hope the tone of my rant is coming across the way it's intended! It makes me mad because women can talk about these issues until the cows come home, and it's not going to change until men own up to that it's US.

Girls and women are harassed and assaulted in everything from skirts and heels to sweatpants and sneakers. They are raped in army fatigues and school uniforms, pajamas, and even\u2014I\u2019m horrified to say\u2014diapers. There is nothing a person can wear that will provoke sexual violence.

This is what I get for having one of the most recognizable faces in football. And for being in the special (AKA nude) anatomy issue of the most popular sports magazine when I was younger. All my important pieces were hidden in artistically creative poses, but women still comment about that photo spread.

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